Recovering From A Messy Family Relationship

I believe that your family is the most important thing in your life. They are the ones that stay with you no matter what. They are the best individuals you can have whenever you experience hardships in life. They support, understand, love, and care for you, unconditionally. However, not all families are like that. Sometimes, these individuals can promote the opposite. They can be as mean as you can imagine. They can be the worst individuals to be with. That instead of lifting you, they sometimes pull you down. Instead of reassuring your overall wellness, they become the cause of your mental and emotional damage. So how can you recover from that type of family?


Even if your family is functional and happy, there are still members of the unit that often cross the line. Most of the time, they treat you so that you do not prefer to be treated. Some would say you can at least talk to them about it. But honestly, it doesn’t work like that. Sometimes, there are way better things to do for you to get away from their toxicity. It would be better to understand that your needs should come first.

Try Cutting Down The Time You Spend With Them

One of the little reasons family relationships often end up having a lot of misunderstandings is not because you spend little time with them. The truth is, the more you interact with them, the more you get accustomed to engaging in different opinions. It eventually leads to conflict. But don’t get the wrong impression. You still have to interact and connect with your family from time to time. But to avoid further emotional and mental damage, you need to cut down the time you spend with them. If you can allow yourself to have a brief time, then work on it. Do not feel guilty for not hanging around for an extended period. Because if family members are toxic, it will not matter how much time you spend with them because nothing will be enough for them.


If Hints Don’t Work, Call Them Out Directly

Of course, you would not want to offend your family. There are times that you are not capable of telling them how annoying and irritating their presence is in your life. That would be rude and inconsiderate on your part. But if you already tried dropping hints or managed to get on with passive-aggressive boundaries, but still nothing works, call them out directly. Allow yourself to become more explicit about your rules so that you can keep toxicity in place. Never feel ashamed of telling them how they are ruining your well-being. It would be best if you stood up for yourself by preventing them from destroying your emotional and mental wellness.

Do Not Let Them Manipulate You

By any chance, never allow toxic family members to manipulate you. Please do not fall into the trap of giving in to their desire in exchange for your overall stability. You need to understand that toxic family members are often masters of manipulation where they use guilt to make you do whatever pleases them. Yes, there can be times that you might not notice yourself getting locked up with their hands. But when you do manage to pull through, make it a habit to say “NO.” Ensure that you stick to your point and always consider doing what you think is best for your overall development. Please do not allow them to feel entitled to hurt you. Do not give more than what you are comfortable giving. Learn to limit the things you do for them because nothing is enough for them anyway.


No Need To Explain Yourself

Toxic family members love drama. They have this eagerness to get a sense of control over everything, even on the things that do not benefit them. Often they would want your actions and decisions prearranged for them. That explains why they usually want to intrude on your personal space. Sometimes, if you ignore them, it becomes a big deal. But you don’t have to give a damn about it. You do not owe these people an explanation of why you want to secure your overall emotional and mental health. The more explanations you provide them, the worse the situation could get. Thus, it would be best if you realized that nothing ever meets these toxic people’s standards regarding limitations, personal space, and respect.


Honestly, you cannot always figure out immediately what to do with a messy family relationship. Sometimes, you are already in a deep and challenging situation before you could ever realize that you need to care for yourself. So in case you are having difficulties, always remember that your life decisions matter. It is only you who can change the way these individuals treat you.



Overcoming Remote Relationships And Online Fatigue

Many of us are in home-quarantine, relying on laptops and mobile phones to stay connected. Since we use them in school and at work, we’ve grown attached to our devices, but this pandemic made us realize that digital connections are a must. With the COVID-19 crisis putting pressure on our physical, emotional, and mental well-being, it also affects our interpersonal relationships.

Experts argue that we can no longer go back to the old normal. As restaurants, transportation, and office establishments prepare to open, the new normal would require us to temperature checks and entry registrations for contact tracing measures. Overnight, we added the phrase “social distancing” into our vernacular and installed videoconferencing apps on our computers.


This pandemic saw us turning to remote workers for advice. However, they have also encountered challenges staying at home, breaking routine social interactions used to balance the amount of time they were isolated. Even long-distance couples have some tips to overcome loneliness, but not all of our connections are intimate relationships that we can straightaway bond over our LED screens.

Pandemic Blues

Psychologists say that more people are prone to social anxiety because we are opening up our homes and personal spaces to others, even in professional contexts. Quarantine-induced Zoom fatigue is real. The simple fact is that every video conference reminds us of how much our lives have changed, how we’ve lost connections and opportunities, and how unlikely it is for the situation to be “business as usual.”

Due to unprecedented scenarios, workplace managers and school teachers had to figure out the new classroom and office dynamics. We hear questions like “How much time should I see my students online? How frequently should I hold department meetings with my staff?” Nobody could have prepared us for this, yet we strive to become resilient and test out what works. How do we overcome the pressures of remote relationships amidst the pandemic?

Virtual Safe Spaces

COVID-19 urged mental health practitioners to move to virtual counseling, also known as teletherapy. The Kaiser Family Foundation conducted a survey and found 45% of Americans reported feeling distressed due to pandemic circumstances. The study enumerated concerns like financial strain, social isolation, and fear of infection, especially for frontline workers in healthcare and essential services.


“Teletherapy has been more difficult for my consumers under the age of 12 because they’re looking all around, asking me 101 questions,” says Dr. DeAnna Murphy, LPC, a licensed professional counselor who practices in Chapel Hill, North Carolina. Since the quarantine started, she’s received an uptick in calls from people dealing with anxiety and depression. Virtual therapy sessions have some advantages as well as disadvantages.

  • Recreating The Space

Taking the velvet couch from a therapist’s office to a Zoom call is the biggest challenge. Individuals will have to replicate the comfort and ambiance in their own homes, which, for some, might be the source of anxiety in the first place. To overcome this, Murphy suggests her clients sit in the car or walk around the block and call her.

  • Keeping Privacy

Sometimes, loneliness intensifies even when we’re sharing a space with other people. COVID-19 has us leaning onto our friends, partners, family, and colleagues. At some point, everyone’s bound to feel emotionally overloaded, so having a therapist or counselor can help.

  • Saving Resources

For clients undergoing in-person therapy, an appointment would typically take two hours, including travel time, while a virtual session can be over in fifty minutes. Murphy says teletherapy works well for individuals with mild symptoms, which means lower anxiety levels or less debilitating depression. 


Online fatigue and long-distance relationships can take a toll on our health. We should learn how to identify the triggers and specific stressors before we try to cope with them. Here are some examples:

  1. If a meeting doesn’t need to be a Zoom meeting, consider a phone call. Not seeing ourselves or 12 people on the screen can reduce stress linked to our self-consciousness.
  2. Swap your end-of-the-world dystopian reading lists with escapist fiction or romance novels. If your kids like to play video games, avoid themes of disease outbreaks or zombies.
  3. Conduct a pulse check and determine whether you’re jumping in a Zoom call because you want to or because you feel you have to. Joining calls that you’re not committed to adds to the strain when all you need at the moment is to get a break.

When every day turns out to be a test of competence, it’s easy to lose our direction when barriers break, spaces combine, and lines blur together. What we need to reclaim control of our relationships with others is to accept that we are tired. We need to recover using tools available to us and strengthen the ways we cope – both online and offline.

Coping With Your Mental Health Struggles


The Global Mental Health Summit 2019 talked about the most misunderstood topic in the whole world – mental health. People can be very inconsiderate, especially those who are not welcoming of new studies and changes. One must understand that mental health is as important as physical health. Actually, for me, mental health is a mile much more important than physical health. If your mind is not in tiptop shape, your body will follow suit. And have you heard of the saying “think past the pain” (physical pain that is)? It just means that the mind is “in-charge” of the body. Now, why should we take it for granted?

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Time Of Pandemic: Taking Care Of Your Mental Health


This year has been a challenging time for our society. The World Health Organization (WHO) declared a global pandemic last March 11. The COVID-19 has been rapidly spreading across 185 countries, with more than 2.2 million cases and counting. It continues to spread, with death toll alarmingly on the rise.

Governments around the world try to “flatten the curve” by implementing extreme procedures to slow down the spread, enough for the current number of cases to be within the capacity of healthcare institutions. For most countries, this means extreme Draconian measures to keep the virus outbreak at bay.

From strict lockdowns, travel bans, forced closure of establishments, the prohibition of mass gatherings, and social distancing— daily routines were forced to change abruptly.

Adapting into this new way of life or the new normal as they say, and the fear of contracting COVID-19 itself can be stressful and lead to anxiety. It can be overwhelming, taking a toll on everyone’s mental health. Sudden disengagement from society can also make coping with this fear and anxiety, especially hard.

With the COVID-19 pandemic negatively impacting numerous facets of our community, it is essential to take steps to ensure the care of your own and your family’s mental health.

COVID-19 Pandemic’s Impact On Your Mental Health


As people are unique, the pandemic’s effect can significantly vary from one person to another. During this pandemic, your mental health can be considerably affected by stress, anxiety, fear, sadness, and loneliness. “Given the circumstances, feeling anxious is part of a normal response to what’s going on,” Joshua Gordon, M.D., Ph.D., points out.

The impact of the COVID-19 pandemic on mental health can manifest in different ways. It is crucial to keep an eye out for such occurrences in yourself, your family, and even your friends. It can worsen with the uncertainty as to when things will get better, but it is preventable by taking specific measures.

Practices To Improve Mental Health During COVID-19 Pandemic

  • Be Careful Of What You Read From The News

Repeatedly hearing negative news about the pandemic can be upsetting. Taking a break or setting a scheduled time to get updates about the situation can be helpful.

  • Take Care Of Your Body

Taking steps to take care of your body is vital in attaining good overall health. It is crucial to building the immune system not only to avoid the virus but also to feel good physically. Remember to eat healthily, drink water, and exercise. It is also essential to get enough rest and sleep.


  • Do Leisure Activities

Although the measures imposed by the government will likely prevent most of us from going out and doing our hobbies, it is still essential to unwind and relax. You can explore new ways to entertain yourself or even discover new hobbies and talents. Doing so will help ease some anxiety and help yourself feel good mentally.

  • Stay Connected With People

Thanks to technology, connecting with people is now more accessible, even without stepping a foot outside of your home. Staying in touch with friends and family can help you, as well as them, get through these hard times. Sharing how you feel or even seeing that they are doing well can put the mind at ease.

  • Set Goals And Priorities

The pandemic can hamper our productivity and ability to concentrate. Tasks typically done may seem insignificant or more tiresome while dealing with issues brought by the pandemic. It is helpful to prioritize and organize what needs to be accomplished immediately, not to get overwhelmed.

Final Thoughts

Indeed, the current global pandemic is challenging. Isolation and social distancing do not mean that you are alone in this fight. Although the steps enumerated above can be done by oneself, seeking professional help or comfort from friends and family can also be an option.

Navigating this uncertainty is hard, but not impossible. It will test our resilience, but we will come out of it more reliable. Taking care of our mental health is not only crucial to our overall health. If we are mentally healthy, we will be able to look out for others as well and even contribute to our communities.

Mental Health Is As Important As Physical Health


The 2017 Mental Health Summit was an awakening for me. The whole point of the event was to discuss the mental health of children. Mississippi Governor Phil Bryant was present in that summit, and as they say, it was a record-breaking event in terms of attendance. There were around 350 attendees on that event, which shows that people these days are interested to know more about the mental health issues that can plague children, which include behavioral, personality disorders, and more. Of course, the Governor was the one who opened the general session.

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Therapy: How To Remove Stress In Your Life 


Stress is inevitable or something that you could not avoid. According to Mary K. Tatum, LMHC, “Stress is variable and affects everyone differently.”  Despite your diligent efforts of trying to be cool with the demands of work, family life or personal matters, there will always come a time when stress will take over you. This is the primary reason why it is essential to learn some techniques on how to beat stress. The first step that you must do is to accept the fact that stress is part of life. Once you learn to accept this fact, the solution will follow. “Some people are more prone to stress reactions. They’re likely to be people who have difficulty managing on a day-to-day basis. They may not have effective problem-solving skills, or be predisposed to high levels of anxiety and uncertainty,” says Len Tuzman, an expert on stress management.  Continue reading

Top Benefits Of Relationship Counseling


“A committed marriage is a lifelong partnership that links two people around their most fundamental wishes and wants so that the two people involved can flourish as individuals and as a couple,” according to Catherine Aponte Psy.D.

The truth is that there is no perfect relationship in this world. Every relationship has its ups and downs. This is the primary reason why every couple needs to be strong for each other. When they fail to do this, there is a high possibility that the relationship could not survive the turmoil. The challenges in every union play an essential role in strengthening the bond between the two persons involved.

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I’m A Mom – I Eat Stress For Breakfast All The Way To Midnight Snacks


“Stress is somewhat difficult to describe accurately beyond simply saying that you know it when you feel it.” according to Roxanna Miller, LMHC.

Talk to me about stress. I’m a mom. I know everything about the word “stress.” I’m sure not all moms are as stressed as me, though. Some mommies only have one child to take care of with two or three nannies to help them. Most of the time, some couples only have two kids, that’s because they don’t have the time to take care of their babies 24 hours a day. I mean, who has the time?

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Overcoming Gambling Addiction


Risking your money and properties with a relatively small probability of winning is a harmless pleasure, probably for some people. Little do these gamblers know that the only consequences of staking a large sum are either losing a bunch or developing a compulsive behavior known as gambling addiction. “Genetics play a role but growing evidence shows gambling disorder is also tied to the dopamine reward system in the brain. Different gamblers have different experiences but one of the things you see in process addictions like gambling is that much of the reward comes not from winning but from the possibility of winning,” according to Dr. David Sack, a psychiatrist.

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The Connection Between Sexual Addiction And Mental Health


“Someone with sex addiction isn’t just someone who loves sex. The main symptoms of sex addiction include a loss of control, failed attempts to stop unwanted sexual behavior, and a pattern of negative consequences from anxiety to depression and legal problems,” says therapist Dr. Joe Kort.

Sexual addiction and mental illnesses are both problems experienced by some people. First, sexual addiction contributes to the growth of mental health conditions, and second, mental illnesses take part in sexual addiction cases. Yet upon further studies, research information gathering, and clinical practices, it is likely proved that these two do not share the same connection.

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