Miscarriage Aftermath: Seeking Professional Help Amidst Depressive Symptoms

“Despite how common miscarriage is, women often experience the loss in silence,” said Alicia Del Prado Ph.D., a licensed counseling psychologist. When sadness can no longer describe the feeling of losing a baby, miscarriage can lead women to a more complex part of grieving – depression. Devastation is a more likely match to explain how the loss of a child feels appropriately. Nevertheless, the suffering that one feels after a stillbirth or miscarriage is normal.


But, when does one draw the line between sadness in grieving and depression? How far can melancholia go to be considered pathologic and be the primary cause for concern?


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When Sadness Becomes Depression

Miscarriage is defined as the unexpected, abrupt loss of a pregnancy that did not reach the 20th week. Majority of miscarriages happen during the first trimester due to the following reasons:


  • Genetic or chromosomal issues
  • Health conditions experienced by the mother like diabetes or infections like STD
  • Hormonal problems involving the adrenal or thyroid glands
  • Autoimmune disorders


The loss that is associated with the spontaneous, unwanted abortion is so devastating to couples, especially to women that it usually leads to depression.


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Questions That Prompt Counseling

The moment you feel like diving into a bottomless, dark pit with no hopes of a reprieve, it usually is a cause for concern. There are a couple of questions that you need to ask yourself if you are pondering about airing your grievances to a therapist.


  1. Am I Displaying Depressive Symptoms?

To know if you have signs of clinical depression, reflect on the following factors:


  • Constant feeling of emptiness, worthlessness, and hopelessness
  • Changes in sleep pattern and appetite
  • Less or no interest in activities once enjoyed
  • Agitation and difficulty concentrating
  • Fatigue
  • Recurrent thoughts of suicide


  1. When Did The Miscarriage Happen?

Grief and depression are said to have similar signs and symptoms. For women who have experienced recent miscarriages, the overwhelming feeling stays with you for a period but eventually, they can cope and move on with their feelings of despair. Depression, on the other hand, is more pathological and lasts for months which can go on for years.


  1. Is Your Relationship Compromised?

Constant bickering and arguing after miscarriage is a sign that you and your partner are undergoing severe emotional turmoil that requires therapeutic intervention. “First we must acknowledge that some anger is a valid, necessary, appropriate and unavoidable human emotion,” wrote Stephen A. Diamond, PhD. Problems that have erupted after the loss of pregnancy and has persisted overtime may severely affect your relationship.


  1. Do You Have The Urge To Seek Professional Help?

If so, then you should immediately schedule a meeting with your therapist. Not only are your mental and physical health at risk, but emotional strife can also jeopardize a meaningful relationship. When you feel like everyone’s opinions are no longer working out for you, it’s best to get advice from an expert.


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Moving Forward With Counseling

Recovering from depression that is primarily caused by miscarriage can take time to heal. But with a capable support system coupled with antidepressant medications, psychotherapy, and other forms of treatment, results can be promising. By sticking to the therapeutic plan, eating healthy meals, getting adequate sleep, and exercising, depressive symptoms can eventually be alleviated.

Karen Kleiman MSW, LCSW, wrote, “[W]hen a woman endures the pain of disconnection from her baby, or fails to meet the expectations dictated by her critical mother, or can’t face her own reflection in the mirror because she has lost touch with the soul within—it’s hard for her to know where to turn.”

It is also important to emphasize that miscarriages not only affect the mother alone; remember, couples are most affected by the loss of a child. Therefore, counseling is highly beneficial for couples who are going through a rough time dealing with their depression.


The Life Of A Certain Miss

[Dealing With Unexpected Life Transitions]

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According to Robert Taibbi L.C.S.W., “Ready or not, we all go through numerous transitions in our lives – living high school to go to college or work, changing jobs, getting married, having children.” Looking back when there were fewer demands to womanhood, being a mother at a young age was ideal. Women were allowed and expected to have a child as soon as she was physically able. But those were the days! Today, our society has expanded the context of being a woman that it has come to the point where the expectations are becoming too much to handle.

According to Avery Neal, M.A., L.P.C., “Many women do not know how to cope with change, and depending on the severity or amount of trauma the change has inflicted, women can face a difficult and painful time.”

Let me tell you a story about a certain Miss who now struggles to be a “Mrs.”

Miss was a careless young adult who had the world in the palm of her hand. She dreamed and made it into reality until one day, she fell in love, or so she thought. At the back of her mind, there was always the curiosity of how life would be if you’re living it with and for someone.

More than nine months later, Miss became Mrs. She married a knight in shining armor and lived her fairytale, but then again, so she thought. She didn’t realize that her changing of her surname was the start of her nightmares. Mr is not a knight in shining armor saving the damsel in distress, but the frog who’ll never turn into a prince no matter how many times you kiss him.

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Five years later, they now have three beautiful kids. Mrs. is a picture of strength that no matter the odds, she remained faithful and firm. Little did people know that with those five years, she was physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and financially abused! So much for a happy ending.

She was being beaten with little to no reason but just the fact that Mr is evil! She was drained and always left to feel worthless. She was empty- there was no space for growth anymore. All she was good for was assuring the wellbeing of her family. But who would look after her? She was alone in a room that’s crowded with her soul crushed with no faith to save her. And how can it be that she was forsaken to worry about the future of her children?

It isn’t the life that she thought she’d have when she decided to become Mrs., but she can’t turn back now. She needs to gather more strength than she ever had in the last five years. She needs to overcome her challenges to become whole again for her sake and the sake of her children.

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There is no such thing as too late when it comes to living. “It’s good to know about these perspectives on life transitions, because they show us that there’s nothing inherently bad about change,” says Susan Krauss Whitbourne, Ph.D. It’s about taking each downfall as an opportunity to rise, and as we may think that we’re alone, there are people out there who care more than we know. Don’t be a sad story. You have the power to turn your world upside down. It is about recognizing your mistakes, the people who caused you pain and your part in making it happen. But don’t stop there! Move forward and acknowledge help from people who love you! You owe them the courage to love and respect yourself again.

Rolling the Dice On Teenage Gambling: When To Seek Professional Help

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When your teen’s poker face is no longer working, it’s time to seek out medical advice.

Opportunities to instantaneously gamble is set on a general, digital level that it can easily be accessed by anybody, primarily by teens. Reiterating and thoroughly explaining to your children the insidious effects of gambling will efficiently influence them with the ideation that addiction starts when recreation stops; thus the consequences will arise. “A parent’s attitude about gambling can affect a child’s attitude about it.” says Emily Mendez, M.S., EdS., a mental health expert who specializes in addiction and substance abuse.

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Signs Of Emotional Self-Harm (Mental Health Issues)

There’s a big difference between those confident and positive people compared to those pessimistic and always insecure ones. “The key is how often you are feeling this sense of distress, how bad it gets, and how long it lasts; that is what can help determine the seriousness of your situation,” says Abby Aronowitz, PhD. Their emotional and mental health varies depending on their social interaction and environment. These people usually don’t take time to care and love themselves and stick to a habit of putting themselves down instead of building their confidence up. With that, they couldn’t see the damage they are doing with their overall health.

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Recognizing Emotional Self-Harm

Running Away From Unwanted Emotion

Emotionally weak people often reject reality for what it is. Usually, they tend to look for diversion and use drugs and alcohol as an escape. They always feel anxious and stressed about things that are not even there, and they see no solutions in every unfortunate situation they encounter. Yes, it is perfectly okay to feel sad and afraid when there are things that fate already decided to happen. But, it is not enough reason to run away from emotions. Emotions are trying to say something, and they represent a more physiological effect. So when there’s no confrontation of feelings, people put their psychological needs at risk. They should understand the necessity of recognizing the things that upset them to develop and enhance their emotional and mental state through self-reflection. According to clinical psychologist Deborah Offner, PhD, “Emotional exhaustion is wider ranging and longer lasting than ‘a bad week.’”

Uncomfortable With Their Personality

Self-harm always start within people’s inner thoughts and feelings. So when they get ashamed of themselves, they begin to bring forward mental issues along the way. It is dangerous because it doesn’t depend on the situation. It always crawls up every time people make mistakes; they get judged from doing something, or even when they are not focusing on their positive attributes. People must understand that shame underlies destructive behavior. Yes, it is an awful thing that all individuals experience, but it shouldn’t have to become a representation whenever they feel bad about themselves. So when these individuals start to feel sorry about who they are, they begin to believe that there’s no room for them to have a healthy life.

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Belittling Accomplishments And Progress

It is a situation where self-harm becomes too apparent. Yes, it is essential not to settle in one thing and continue to set life goals. But it is a different scenario when people don’t give credit on the good things they do. When these individuals don’t acknowledge their capabilities on how far they’ve become, it damages all their mental, emotional, and spiritual aspect. Self-harm grows when they bask on emptiness and discontentment regardless of the achievement they get from hard work and persistence. Bottom line, these individuals ignore to respect, value, and trust their progress because they get too blinded by their ungratefulness.

Buildup Of Conflicted Emotions

In this state, people know what’s bothering them. They don’t try to avoid it though. But they tend not to consider seeking any help. They believe they can handle it alone, it will eventually go away, and there’s nothing to worry about the situation. Usually, they build walls and hide their feelings, and these people are good at that. However, they often forget to recognize that instead of getting better, they are only digging a bigger hole that will take them down to their emotional dilemma. With that, vulnerability becomes vital. Yes, things don’t often work out the way everybody wants it. But when there’s self-pity, it still doesn’t help the situation, nor it will never affect the outcome of any problems. No person deserves to get punished, so there’s entirely no need to beat emotional and mental difficulty.

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Thy Self Is Not A Priority

Taking care of one’s self is the most important thing to do. So when people enjoy bad habits such as smoking, consuming too much alcohol, skipping meals, and not drinking enough water, it destroys them. Not only these habits trigger and worsen anxiety and depression, but it also hinders the overall development of the brain and body. When it comes to mental and emotional well-being, these people don’t know how to consider providing quality care to themselves. That’s because they somehow believe that it is useless, it’s inappropriate, and it’s not going to be worth it.

Honestly, people know that some of their actions are undoubtedly harming themselves both emotionally and mentally. They better stop doing it before it takes them to a much worse case. As written by Raychelle Cassada Lohmann Ph.D., LPCS, “If you know someone who is engaging in self-injurious behavior reach out to him or her.“

Mood Disorders

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Mood disorders are caused by various factors that affect the typical attitude and behavior of a person. This condition can disturb the everyday life activities of an individual and can be very destructive. Awareness that you have a mood disorder is essential to avoid its complications since it can destroy your relationship and even family links.

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3 Tips To Remember If You’re Getting Counseling For The First Time

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“You must work with a therapist to change the way you think, feel, and act. It requires education, understanding, and participation,” says Madhukar Trivedi, MD.

Counseling is a useful treatment for everyone. When you can’t get over your ex or you are about to drown in stress, you can meet a counselor to know how to handle your thoughts and emotions. If you have a mental disorder, different forms of therapy may help you manage it without medication. Besides, you can use counseling to mend broken relationships, bring light into your life, and cope with your issues, among others. You may find similar articles in websites like scarymommy.com and sheknows.com.

Nonetheless, you cannot go to counseling for the first time without knowing the following things.

  1. Look For A Good Therapist

The hard truth is that not all counselors who took the same oath have the same way of thinking when providing their services. While some can quickly act like a professional in the office, others let their worries run amok. You might also find new ones who are too afraid of making you blow up, to the point that they avoid asking questions about your problems.

It will be smart to prepare a list of therapists before you even go to one. Search for them online or get recommendations from your loved ones. This way, if you don’t click with the first counselor, you can meet the second, third, or nth mental health professional until you come across someone trustworthy.


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2. Don’t Veil Your Real Feelings

Counselors are not like doctors who have machines to ensure their findings. The former can merely rely on your words as they teach you coping techniques. One with years of experience reading their clients’ behaviors can tell as well whether you are lying or not. So it is best to stop trying to hide your emotions from the therapist.

We get that you may be uncomfortable with the idea of spilling your deepest secrets to someone. You may not have done that even in front of your closest family members and friends, but it matters to be honest if you want to have peace of mind again. “Our brain is very sensitive to perceptions of threat, and when anxiety gets in our way, starts to interfere with our lives, jobs, obligations or social relationships, then that becomes a problem,” says Dr. Scott Bea PsyD. It may be the same anxious feeling that one experiences when going to therapy.

3. Be Patient IfThe Healing Process Takes A While

The only upside of medicating when you have mental problems is that it can make you feel okay for a few hours. You can go on with your day as you usually do; you need not think about your disorder. However, the drugs work to suppress the symptoms of an illness so that it can become addictive in the end.

When it comes to counseling, not even the therapist can honestly tell whether you will see changes in yourself after three weeks or three months. It depends on how open you are to the likelihood of separating yourself from the problems and learning coping mechanisms. Thus, try not to get devastated if your healing process takes a while.


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In The End

Nobody goes to therapy for no reason. You surely have some, which you should share with the counselor on your first meeting. That will allow him or her to align their goals with yours and help you move in the opposite direction of your issues. “Therapy can help you explore roadblocks to self-esteem and teach you practical ways to make your happiness a priority,” says Ryan Howes PhD, ABPP. After all, what we want in life is to be happy.

Good luck with your first counseling session!

Cigarette Addiction: Quit!

“The effects and consequences on substance use on families are devastating. Over 7 million children in the United States—more than 10%—live with a parent who has problems with alcohol, according to a 2012 Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration report. These children and their families are at risk for other co-morbid mental health problems, such as depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, substance use issues, and addiction,” according to addiction psychologist Jeremy Frank, PhD, CADC. This is true with cigarette addiction.

The number of diseases you can get from smoking cigarettes are incredibly high. We all know it’s not good for us, but why do people still do it? Why are some willing to risk their health? Why is cigarette addictive, and why is it so hard to stop?

Cigarette Addiction: Quit!

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Fight Gambling Addiction: Don’t Bet Your Life On It


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Are you suffering from gambling addiction? Or it can be someone you know. It could be someone in the family. It doesn’t matter. If someone that’s a part of your life is suffering from gambling addiction, chances are you are going to get involved. Gambling is a mental health problem that needs to be taken care of, or it can cause a lot of trouble.

Addiction is the act of not being able to stop doing something even though we know it would cause harm.It could be in any form such as gambling, drugs, alcohol, cigarette, or anything that consumes our time, money, health, and wellbeing. “Addiction to gambling has many common characteristics with addiction to alcohol and drugs,” explains Antonis Parios, a Greek psychotherapist. So if you or someone you know are suffering from an addiction, you have the responsibility to save yourself and save all the people around you.


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 Signs You Are Addicted To Gambling:

  1. You try to quit, but you just can’t. No matter how you know it’s affecting you negatively, you just can’t stop. There’s always the urge to gamble. It’s like a craving that can’t be satisfied until you get it. “Different gamblers have different experiences but one of the things you see in process addictions like gambling is that much of the reward comes not from winning but from the possibility of winning,” according to Dr. David Sack, a psychiatrist.
  1. You bet with an amount more than you have. You are not afraid of losing a significant amount of money because your addiction is more powerful than your fear.
  1. You borrow money just to support your addiction. You lie, and you make up reasons to get money from people close to you like your family.
  1. You get serious instead of having fun. Losing makes you upset, and it makes you want to gamble even more.
  1. You have mood swings, especially when you think about gambling which is every moment of every day. It’s as if your life is revolving around it.


Ways To Overcome Gambling Addiction:

  1. Acknowledge that you are suffering from gambling addiction. It is the most critical step in fighting this problem. It means you are ready to reclaim your life back.
  1. Confide in the people you trust. Ask help from your family and friends. They are the people who have a genuine concern for you.
  1. Find a new interest in sports, music, or arts. Find an activity that can encourage self-achievement and self-worth.
  1. Try your very best to avoid gambling again. If it crosses your mind, think of something else. Make yourself busy with important matters like your job.
  1. Seek professional advice. “Research supports psychologists’ use of cognitive and behavioural treatments with problem gamblers. Cognitive treatments help people understand and change thinking that maintains maladaptive gambling,” as written by Dr. David Hodgins in a fact sheet for Canadian Psychological Association. Some people and agencies can help you with your battle against gambling addiction. You are not the only one suffering from this problem that’s why many people devote their time trying to save families and lives.


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Gambling plays with our emotions, so it could only mean that it is controlling you emotionally and mentally. It can cause you everything you have worked for including your house, car, properties, job, health, and family. To sum it all up, you could lose everything. So there’s no winning in gambling, especially when you’re addicted to it.Be wise, stop!Don’t bet away your life and everyone else’s.

Take Your Time To Be Successful


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Breathe in, breathe out. When you get caught up in life, and you feel like success is getting farther and farther from your reach, breathe. Take your time to think, and assess your life honestly without prejudice. Look at yourself from someone else’s perception. As what Catherine Moore, Psychologist, MBA said, “With the right mindset, it may be possible to handle challenges better and pursue success without getting down on yourself.”

Are you using your time wisely?

Are you putting all your effort to be better?

Do you have your priorities straight?

Do you do your best?

Do you deserve to be successful?

If you answered yes to all these questions, then it’s just a matter of time. Continue doing what you are doing, or strive to do and be better. It doesn’t hurt to surpass the person you were yesterday. “Showing up, being present, being on time says, “I am worth your time, and you are worth mine,” according to Michael J. Formica MS, MA, EdM.

If your answer to one or more questions above is no, then you have to pause and take your time. Re-evaluate yourself – your goals, and priorities.

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Take Your Time To Know Yourself

Take time to discover your strengths and weaknesses. By this time, you might already know what you’re good at, but don’t stop there. Your limitation is the limit you set for yourself. Develop different skills, improve your personality, and nourish your relationships. Know yourself not for what you already are but what you can be.


Take Your Time To Know Your Priorities

Know your priorities. It is essential in determining your happiness. Never cling to the definition of success based on our society. Success and happiness are defined by no other than you. You can’t have the same priorities as everyone else. Some give more importance to career, love, friendship, and some to the family. “In order to find the career that is right fit for you, you must first get in touch with your 4 P’s – passion, personality, preferences and principles,” shares Jamie Lewis Smith, PhD.


Take Your Time To Set Your Goals

Focus on what you want to achieve in life, whether it’s a successful career, a small cabin, a luxurious car, or a cruise with the family. It doesn’t matter. It is you who know what you want and the only one who can make it happen. Use an affirmation every day to help you remember.


Take Your Time To Think Positively

Don’t let anything stop you from becoming the person you want to be. Never waste your time feeling sad about mistakes. Take time to ponder and learn from your failures, but never make them the center of your life. They are meant to be the path towards success, and you don’t stay in the pathway. You move forward.


Take Your Time To Make It All Happen

Dedicate your time and effort in improving yourself. Check for tips here in Mom365 and Mother.Ly. Invest in your development and learning, because these are your only tools on your journey towards success. You use your knowledge in dealing with everyday challenges and your skills in daily tasks. Take time to be the best that you can be, because being successful is not about being the best among everybody else but being the best version of yourself.

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Time is our only real possession in life. Some people are successful because they make proper use of it based on their perception of what success is. We direct our path to where we want, and it takes time to get there. Life is never about the beginning and the end. What matters is what you do in between.