Recovering From A Messy Family Relationship

I believe that your family is the most important thing in your life. They are the ones that stay with you no matter what. They are the best individuals you can have whenever you experience hardships in life. They support, understand, love, and care for you, unconditionally. However, not all families are like that. Sometimes, these individuals can promote the opposite. They can be as mean as you can imagine. They can be the worst individuals to be with. That instead of lifting you, they sometimes pull you down. Instead of reassuring your overall wellness, they become the cause of your mental and emotional damage. So how can you recover from that type of family?


Even if your family is functional and happy, there are still members of the unit that often cross the line. Most of the time, they treat you so that you do not prefer to be treated. Some would say you can at least talk to them about it. But honestly, it doesn’t work like that. Sometimes, there are way better things to do for you to get away from their toxicity. It would be better to understand that your needs should come first.

Try Cutting Down The Time You Spend With Them

One of the little reasons family relationships often end up having a lot of misunderstandings is not because you spend little time with them. The truth is, the more you interact with them, the more you get accustomed to engaging in different opinions. It eventually leads to conflict. But don’t get the wrong impression. You still have to interact and connect with your family from time to time. But to avoid further emotional and mental damage, you need to cut down the time you spend with them. If you can allow yourself to have a brief time, then work on it. Do not feel guilty for not hanging around for an extended period. Because if family members are toxic, it will not matter how much time you spend with them because nothing will be enough for them.


If Hints Don’t Work, Call Them Out Directly

Of course, you would not want to offend your family. There are times that you are not capable of telling them how annoying and irritating their presence is in your life. That would be rude and inconsiderate on your part. But if you already tried dropping hints or managed to get on with passive-aggressive boundaries, but still nothing works, call them out directly. Allow yourself to become more explicit about your rules so that you can keep toxicity in place. Never feel ashamed of telling them how they are ruining your well-being. It would be best if you stood up for yourself by preventing them from destroying your emotional and mental wellness.

Do Not Let Them Manipulate You

By any chance, never allow toxic family members to manipulate you. Please do not fall into the trap of giving in to their desire in exchange for your overall stability. You need to understand that toxic family members are often masters of manipulation where they use guilt to make you do whatever pleases them. Yes, there can be times that you might not notice yourself getting locked up with their hands. But when you do manage to pull through, make it a habit to say “NO.” Ensure that you stick to your point and always consider doing what you think is best for your overall development. Please do not allow them to feel entitled to hurt you. Do not give more than what you are comfortable giving. Learn to limit the things you do for them because nothing is enough for them anyway.


No Need To Explain Yourself

Toxic family members love drama. They have this eagerness to get a sense of control over everything, even on the things that do not benefit them. Often they would want your actions and decisions prearranged for them. That explains why they usually want to intrude on your personal space. Sometimes, if you ignore them, it becomes a big deal. But you don’t have to give a damn about it. You do not owe these people an explanation of why you want to secure your overall emotional and mental health. The more explanations you provide them, the worse the situation could get. Thus, it would be best if you realized that nothing ever meets these toxic people’s standards regarding limitations, personal space, and respect.


Honestly, you cannot always figure out immediately what to do with a messy family relationship. Sometimes, you are already in a deep and challenging situation before you could ever realize that you need to care for yourself. So in case you are having difficulties, always remember that your life decisions matter. It is only you who can change the way these individuals treat you.